|Strange times are these in which we live, when old and young are taught in falsehoods school. And the one man that dares to tell the truth is called at once, a lunatic and fool. - Plato|
Boy Baby Names
"Help! I need a name for my son."
My pregnant co-worker friend Susan said to me "Help! I need a name for my son."
So I answered "Clint, or how about Hunter, or Jayson or Andrew? You could call him Andy. Or maybe you could name him after one of the Apostles; Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John. These are just some suggestions off the top of my head but I can come up with more if you want me to. My oldest is called Nevin (means little saint, Ha Ha, was I wrong!) and my youngest is Seth (means appointed by God and the 3rd son of Adam and Eve so I've been told). I wish you were having a girl. I am partial to Sarah Belle."
"Well then, how about Tyler, Taylor, Terry, Tony, or Theodore?"
"Why don’t you name him Trent, after your husband and his grandfather. You could call him Trey."
"Hmmmmm. Something different? I believe we have a problem here. Let me think."
"So you want something different. I read a story once about a guy from California who changed his name to Trout Fishing In America. He figured it would be cool to name himself after a book he liked. Rumor has it he goes by "Trout."
"There are a couple of names I remember from movies. There is Tee Hee from Live and Let Die. And Tiger Tanaka from You Only Live Twice."
"All right – All right’. Let me think about this overnight and I’ll give you some more suggestions in the morning. I’ve got to get back to work."
The next day I stopped by Susan’s cube. "Ting, I said – that would be a good name. This morning I dropped some utensils on the floor and that’s the sound they made."
"Ok Susan, now listen. I spent hours last night thinking about this and I’m going to give you all the suggestions I have."
"Taggart. It means pure, neat, clean."
"Tanner. It means worker in leather."
"Thor - God of Thunder."
"Thurston. I don’t know what that means, but he was the rich guy on Gilligan’s Island."
"You can name him after a country:
"Or, name his after a number.
"We’re in the Internet age, How about "Tech?"
"If he’s born on a Tuesday or Thursday you could use that."
"If he’s a big baby you could name him Ton."
"Time – before you know it, your time with him will be up."
"I’m on a roll now."
"Tadpole. I had a friend in grade school with that nickname."
"Toad. This was a friend in high school."
"Ten tarantulas tickled two tough tigers talking to twenty turtles."
"Ok, that was fun. Now my last suggestions are:"
"Tao – He’s a philosophy who encourages one to be like water and flow to the path of least resistance, the drain."
"Too – Then you could tell everyone that Too is 'Too Tired,' 'Too Grumpy,' 'Too Happy.' 'Too (anything).' "
"There is a native American Indian name I thought of: Thunderbolt. But I like that better for a horse. Another native American Indian name is Tate – 'He Who Talks Too Much.' What do you think?"
Okay then, I give up. You are on your own. I’m going back to my desk now."
A note to all: The very next week Susan had her baby. He came one month early but was in good health. When I asked her what name she finally decided on, she said "Chase."
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